I didn’t just learn about trauma through my studies, I lived it from a young age. Early on, I experienced an absent father and a mom who had trauma of her own that deeply affected the way my needs were met and the way I was taken care of. I quickly became the girl who suffered from an insecure attachment; abandoning herself, constantly putting others' needs before her own & doing whatever it took to escape herself.

This pattern guided me into a series of abusive relationships, people-pleasing behaviours, self-abuse, and eventually full blown alcoholism. I disconnected from myself in every possible way. I became skilled at not only mistreating myself, but also hurting the people I got close to. Constantly self-sabotaging, withdrawing from almost every close relationship in an attempt to keep myself 'safe' because I couldn't trust anyone, not even myself.

For years, I ran from my childhood wounds, gaslighting myself into accepting toxic behaviors, numbing the pain with men, alcohol and substances, all while feeling both too much and never enough. It was a life built on self-abandonment and a deep fear of facing the very parts of me I was so very ashamed of.